The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
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You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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