do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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