She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize