I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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