p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
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