me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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