I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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