I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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