She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
