O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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