To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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