He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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