Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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