On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
