I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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