Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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