I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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