i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize