That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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