that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
