Define "chronic" masturbator.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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