OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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