my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
