Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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