I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
