i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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