oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
