so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
