you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
