I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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