i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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