Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
only if we run a train.
done.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
