wat bout pragnant strippers??
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
