It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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