I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
