i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize