I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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