We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
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Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
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It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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