so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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