D3 body, D1 cock
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
time to smoke my breakfast
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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