When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize