I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize