I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
