why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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