pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
