Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
