So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You pole danced in your parka.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
