Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize