ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
