the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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