The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
