I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize