I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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