eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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