Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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