we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
