if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Randomize
