I want to stick my p in your. b.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
