I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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