the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize