We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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