Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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