Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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