i jhust puked up my retainher.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
